Dear Mother

Dear Mother,

This little girl always wondered about who you were.
This little girl always wondered what you looked like - and if she looked like you.
This little girl always wondered why she was given away.
This little girl always wondered if you were thinking about her.
This little girl always worried that she had done something wrong - even though she was always told she was special and chosen and loved - but that didn't make sense - as you - her mother - didn't keep her - didn't fight for her.
This little girl had nightmares - night after night - that she had been kidnapped - and was tied up - waiting to be rescued.
This little girl slept on the floor beside her mum - because the nightmares went on for years - and she was scared out of her mind - but couldn't explain why.
This little girl was forever scared that everyone she loved would end up leaving her.
This little girl waited for you to come and get her - or at the very least - come looking for her - for 35 years.
This little girl worried about hurting her second family - who she loves dearly - by looking for you and her first family - so she delayed the search for 35 years.
This little girl worried about upsetting her first family - by making herself known.
This little girl just wanted the chance to get to know you - as she is part of you - as you are part of her.
This little girl has had her heart and soul broken by you - because you couldn't face her questions - her existence - her being.
This little girl has had her heart and soul broken because you decided that no-one was allowed to know of her - even her father (whom you married) - and her 3 full sibs - because it upset you.
This little girl is sorry and sad that you hurt so much - but for once - just wished - that you - her mother - would just love her in return.
This little girl won't be bothering you again.
This little girl is broken - perhaps beyond repair.

From Your Little Girl.
She's sorry her existence causes you so much pain.