Friday, August 15, 2008

He Called!!

Thanks to all my wonderful well-wishing peeps!!!

My father called! And it was good!!!

He just wanted to touch base - apologised profusely for not getting in touch so much over the past few months.
He's working on a letter about medical history info. (I don't know how much the letter will contain - but he's doing his best - even finding out what meds his wife/my mother is on now - and he wants to make sure I have the info - in case - "He gets knocked over by a bus tomorrow - as you never know!!!" Golly - he is an Aussie-country kid at heart!!)

As for my mother - her mental stability and physical health are not getting any better - and she abuses him verbally daily. He mentioned depression, mental issues and obsessive compulsive behaviours. Basically - I think the double dose of adoption has really f*cked with her psych.

He asked lots about my studies and about the kids. Wanted to know how MissG went in her big netball gig in July - and wanted to know how the girls were doing at school.
We talked about the Olympics - he's a sports nut too! (nice to know)

He mentioned that for now - he still thinks his kids (my sibs) will abide by their mother's wishes and not have any contact with me - but he's pretty sure they'll reach out - at least one of them - one day, after she passes on.
This makes me cranky - but I do understand the power of a mother's wishes.
My a-mum asked me not to search. I didn't. Until 15 years after her death.
We mother's have a great amount of power over our children. (note to self - use my power for good not evil!!)

He wants to stay in touch. He actually mentioned that if it weren't for his wife - he would have already been on a plane down to Canberra by now to meet me.
Bitter - and sweet.

So - it was GOOD.
It was nice to chat.
He's a really lovely man - and it's nice to know that he wants to keep in contact.
Perhaps I have to work on a way to be 'in town' where he lives - or close by - and perhaps we can meet that way.
Hmmmmmm - the brain cogs are a-turning as I write.

Thanks again for your well-wishes.
He wants to know what goes on in my life.
That's nice.
That feels good.


Blogger elizabeth said...

Glad you heard from him Poss!


15/8/08, 3:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Poss, I'm so happy to read such good news, and so soon!

I hope that you two can continue to chat and make connections in the months ahead.

15/8/08, 3:48 pm  
Blogger angel said...

Poss honey,

I am thrilled to bits for you that your Dad not only emailed but also called you this week.. its been a long time waiting.

He really does care for you and want to be a bigger part of your life, as I am sure your siblings do too, but I imagine they're all scared to do something which might make your mothers 'state' even worse. She doesn't sound good. She seems to manipulate everyone into doing or not doing things, because of her health. That can't be any fun for anyone involved. Catch 22 situation, which is heartbreaking for you honey. I wish it were different and she had the strength to at the very least write to you. If only she knew what a beautiful soul you are, she may not find it so scary.

I would also be planning a 'just happened to be passing through' trip to their location..

sending lots of hugs and love honey.. thinking of you xx

15/8/08, 4:32 pm  
Blogger rachael said...

yeah!!! im so happy for you sweetie!! i wish i could talk to mine. its been months.

15/8/08, 8:53 pm  
Blogger Lori A said...


16/8/08, 5:59 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poss That is wonderful.Im very happy for you.
It does sound like the adoptions is what has made her like this and the saddest thing is that if she would just allow you into her life she might just find herself healing a little..(I feel the same way about my situation with my fmother)
I wish your father could talk to her and try and get her to have some counseling for adoption. Maybe she would then see you...

16/8/08, 10:14 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you've heard from your father!!!!

17/8/08, 6:58 am  
Anonymous 2Btrue said...

I am so glad you heard from him!!


17/8/08, 6:28 pm  
Blogger Gershom said...

Yes!!! I'm glad he called, i wish it was to invite you over though for a family dinner. You deserve a call of acceptance.

18/8/08, 5:05 am  
Blogger Sunny said...

Am so glad he called, and that it was lovely!

Can you go to him, and meet for lunch sometime?

Sounds like your mum is out of sorts--I had no idea. Sigh.

Waves of good thoughts to you down there.


19/8/08, 3:22 am  
Blogger The Fuzzy Duck Daughter said...

Oh Poss. This is wonderful.

And yes...bittersweet.

How I wish you could meet ALL of them. I keep hoping that for you.

20/8/08, 4:53 pm  
Anonymous jimm said...

So glad for you Possum!
Though I don't see why your sibs must wait for your mother's passing before getting to know you...

21/8/08, 3:21 am  

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