Saturday, August 16, 2008

Origins Australia & Mental Health Issues Of The Adoptee

I've only discovered recently - that Origins NSW/Australia now has a new web site - and it's well worth the visit. (yep - I'm a little slow on the uptake - it's probably been up for a while now - but I've finally changed my links - so don't forget to change yours!!)

There is a great summary of research - which ALL prospective/current adoptive parents should take the time to read.
The research details studies done since 1943 - of the psychological affects of separation (from mother) and adoption on babies and children. (look under 'Mental Health Damage' in the left hand column on Origins.)
There is more research 'out there' (you know - books, articles, online) - of course - but this is a great kick start to finding further knowledge on how adoption affects the adoptee.

The articles summarized highlight not only about the effects of initial separation on the adoptee - but some also look at the ongoing problems adoptees face when their adoptive parents ignore the subject of adoption and links to one's bio family - and/or the negative affects on adoptees of ineffectual parenting post adoption - and of those adoptive parents that have not dealt with their own issues of infertility and grief from being unable to parent a bio child of their own.

Most isn't new reserach - by any means - but too often any such research gets ignored - as it doesn't fit into the 'happy-happy-rainbow' adoption hype that too many insist on believing.
Adoption agencies out-right ignore the research, I can only presume, because it doesn't fit into their money-making mission statements.
Prospective adoptive parents perhaps dismiss such research as it possibly has never crossed their radar - or - it doesn't fit into their desires of finally getting the child they always hoped for - no matter the cost (both monetarily and to the child).

It also must be said - that when we are faced with totally new information - we - as humans - tend to dismiss it outright - especially if it clashes with our internal belief system - and of what we 'want' to believe.

Adoption - for so long - has only been portrayed to the public and the unsuspecting - as 'happy-happy-rainbows' - so as a concept - this research - my words - and the words of other adoptees and first mothers - clashes - supremely - with the belief systems held by average Mr and Mrs Jones.
If new information 'feels wrong' - search into that - ask yourself WHY - do your own research - is it because you've never seen/heard it yourself - why is it clashing with what you feel is right???

As you would know - if you have been reading here for some time - I only believe in adoption when it ABSOLUTELY is the ONLY option for a child to have a loving, caring home.
(NOT with name changes, changing of OBC's and a whole host of other issues - as essentially family preservation is my greatest concern - but I think you can get where I'm coming from.)
Basically - BEFORE that 'adoption' step - I would hope that all possible means would be found for the child to live with their bio family - as long as no harm is present.
(my beliefs run very close to that of the UN Convention of Rights for a Child)

For those kids that have no other option for a loving, stable, caring family - and foster care or adoption are the best possible outcomes - special considerations for that child's well-being MUST be a priority for better emotional and psychological well-being of that child.

Adoptive parents MUST go in with their eyes wide open - and the desire and capacity to learn from many and varied sources - to be aware of ongoing issues and possible hurdles that their adoptee may face both now and into their future.

There is no - 'wham-bam-thankyou-ma'am' in adoption.
No sign the papers - get the child - live 'happily-ever-after' in adoption.

Too many think that's all it takes - but adoption to an adoptee is something that they live and breathe - THE REST OF THEIR NATURAL LIFE.
It's something that they revisit often - as they grow and mature.
It's NOT something that they can 'just get over' because everyone else they live with has had enough of it.
(WARNING: many an adoptee will outwardly portray that all is 'sunshine and roses' - if that's what they feel they must portray in order to keep their adoptive family happy - fears of rejection are very real for an adoptee - so don't be fooled by outward appearances)

Adoption to an adoptee - impacts on their relationships - their learning - their living - their being.

And to those adoptive parents that aren't supportive - aren't open minded - aren't proactive - YOU are causing even greater harm to a child that has already had their fair share of emotional and psychological damage in their very short life.

Keep reading, keep sharing, keep talking, keep learning.

The only way that the misconceptions in adoption can be removed - is for the words to get out there - for the ripple effect to take hold.

What can you do to shake out those misconceptions in adoption today???

What can you do to help your adoptee live with adoption - in the most loving and caring way???

check out this site - Quantum Parenting - just found it - looks good from what I've read so far.....

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Blogger (^oo^) bad girl (^oo^) said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

16/8/08, 8:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is one of the best posts I have ever read.. me being bipolar it gives me something to ponder.. hugs poss,,ani

17/8/08, 12:50 pm  
Blogger Lori A said...

Thanks Possum, this is powerful information and I know just who to send it to. (((hugs))) to you for posting it.

17/8/08, 10:48 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, Possum, I know this isn't related to your entry... but can you please STOP USING THE HYPHENS so much?!!

You use about 5 of them in one sentence! XD They're driving me nuts!

Upon reading your entry: "Don't be fooled by outward portrayal." - that is absolutely correct. No one will speak up unless we know for sure that the other person agrees.

22/8/08, 3:51 am  

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