Thursday, May 24, 2007

Adoption & Energy

Hi.

Yeah - I'm still alive.

Hanging in there - as they say.

Life has been a complete whirlwind of late, and I had to back slowly away from my blog for awhile to gain back some of me.

I just finished 2 weeks of practical experience teaching Year 1/2 at a local Primary school. It was amazing, draining, enlightening, uplifting, extremely busy - and I miss 'my' little class of munchkins already. These 6/7 year olds were amazed that I had to go back for more study at University, to finish training to be a teacher - their words - "But you're a really good teacher!!".
(I wonder if I can get credit points just on their words??!!)

I have 4 weeks left of University this semester - and a few more assignments & exams to complete.

For those that perhaps have been wondering - no - still no word from A or my mother.

May is always a really hard month for me. This one has been a particularly hard one.

We had mother's day - an extremely bitter / sweet day.

My adoptive mother died when I was 18, from cancer. I never got to be an adult with her. She never got to meet my husband. She never got to see my gorgeous kids.

I miss her.

My first mother doesn't really want to accept that I exist. It's been two years now since I found her. And I just get silence.

But I miss her too.

Last Thursday was my birthday. The 17th May.

(yeah - no happy birthday from the mum's that I miss in my life)

My kids, husband, in-laws, my class (I was on prac), my mentor teacher and my wonderful friends all treated me with love and kindness.

But - May is a really hard month for me.

One last note - some amazing adoptees (many you've read here in Blogland) have written some truly insightful words over at the new adoptee forum -
'Adult Adoptees Advocating For Change'.

There is a thread called 'Adoption & Energy' - and - if you have the chance - I truly recommend that you take the time to have a read. What has been written in word here - are feelings that have surrounded me throughout my life. Feelings that so often exhaust me now.

(I believe that this is one of the pages that does not require you to be a member to read. If you have trouble getting to the link - please let me know.)

Thanks for checking in on me.

Hugs,
Poss. xxx

12 Comments:

Anonymous joy said...

Happy Birthday! I'm not late, I'm early for next year! ;-)

Congrats on finishing your practical experience! I'm in the woes of trying to figure out my employment- I have an education degree but did not finish my student teaching. :(

I'm glad your family, teaching mentor, in laws and friends helped you celebrate your birthday!

I only wish I'd known this before I planted a tree in your honor in Siberia. Cause your day to water is Saturday and I think that's going to be a heck of a commute! ;-)

24/5/07, 11:41 am  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Possum, It's so great to read a post from you. Happy Birthday, late. I'll try to remember for next year. I'm going to send you a song as your gift because if I tried to mail you something no doubt it would take weeks. I think it's fantastic that you are done with the practical experience part of school. I am very proud. I can't heal the hurt that live as an adoptee who wants to be reunited has caused, I wish I could. I am sending good thoughts your way. Many hugs and much love, Rebecca

24/5/07, 6:12 pm  
Anonymous Paula O. said...

Poss - I've been thinking of you so much and am so happy to "see" you again.

I'm so sorry that May has been such a hard month for you - - those birthdays can be so bittersweet. I can only imagine how hard the past few weeks have been for you. (((((Poss)))))

I just wanted to send big hugs, a lot of good thoughts and let you know that I'm thinking of you.

PS - That is SOOO awesome about your schooling. You will be (and already are, no doubt) a FABULOUS teacher. :)

25/5/07, 2:39 am  
Anonymous JustEnjoyHim/Judy said...

I wondered where you had gone to.

Happy late birthday. I'm so sorry you're without both your moms on your birthday and Mother's Day. I can see how May is such a difficult month for you. Many *hugs* to you.

~ Judy

25/5/07, 4:49 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poss!

You and I have so much in common it's almost spoooooky.

Our amoms, our bmoms, your life practically could mirror mine.

Here's a (hug) until I can get down there to Oz and have a proper cold one with ya on one of your future birthdays!

-Lillie

25/5/07, 7:02 am  
Blogger Erin said...

I've missed you! Sorry may sucks, but you are hanging on so that is good.

Happy birthday sweet Possum! I hope you have many more happy returns of the day.

25/5/07, 1:51 pm  
Anonymous mia said...

Happy belated birthday Possum!!!

Wow, you have been really busy! Sometimes that's a good thing though huh? Mother's Day pretty much sucks for me too.

I have been super busy too with end of school year stuff but miss the forum. I will have to get over there and read the Energy thread. (((Poss)))

26/5/07, 10:10 pm  
Blogger Possum said...

Thank you all for your b'day wishes.
They're not regarded as late - as I didn't advertise the date in advance!!!
Joy - I've noted you next year wishes - and crossed you off on the list!!!
And thankyou (I think) for the tree!!! :o)
Rebecca - thanks for the emails - I've appreciated them greatly. It's so hard sometimes when life gets so busy.
Paula - your faith in my teaching abilities warms my heart!!! I'm really enjoying the studying and the teaching - especially since it's what I've always wanted to do.
Judy - thanks also for dropping in. Only a few more May days to go - and I've just about made it in tact!!
Lillie - wow - are you my American twin??? And I'll be keeping you to your promise of a visit DownUnder one day - and the cold one!!
Erin - you missed me?? That's so sweet. Thanks for saying so. I've missed everyone also - but it's great to know you're all here when I need the cyber hugs!!
Mia - yeah - I think we all have to pull back now and then - don't we??
It's intense stuff - especially as we adoptees constantly have to process things at such a deep emotional level. Somedays it sucks - somedays there's a break thu. I'm so glad I found you and the other adoptees here in blog-land. You all sooth my soul like no other person can.

Thanks for dropping in.
Poss. xxxx

27/5/07, 1:26 pm  
Blogger LeRoy Dissing said...

Sorry I missed your birthday Poss....Happy Belated Birthday Wishes!!! and many, many more to come!!!

28/5/07, 2:02 am  
Blogger Julie said...

((((((((Possum))))))))

28/5/07, 3:12 am  
Blogger Possum said...

Ah - thank you Leroy and Julie.
Hugs back.
Poss. xxx

29/5/07, 1:18 am  
Blogger ani said...

oh ,, late happy bday ,, I am so sorry

I just can not imagine I thought loosing my adad at 32 was young, but geesh 18. You were just a babe, so much time lost. Meeting your husband your kids, that is so much, I am so sorry. And then add the bio parent stuff on top.

You are such a special person, your amom must be so proud of you. I know she is looking after ya,, congrats on the schooling. I admire you so much for that, I barely graduated highschool.

anyways I am thinking about you,,

ani

29/5/07, 4:50 pm  

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